I was standing alone in my room, staring at the wall; I was stuck between worlds. I felt like something BIG at happened. Was it fate? Maybe it was the way I was put together? I was standing alone, but I heard voices. I’m not sure where it was from God? or the Devas? (the gods of Hinduism) or maybe it was an angel. I had read a lot about such things and had spent a lot of time contemplating their existence. My first experience with schizophrenia was severe. I had so much in mind, I really thought I was in Hell (something with which I had never had any belief in), but somehow, in the visions and my own experience, I could not doubt its existence. It was very real for me when I was running around the hospital with a purpose. The walls were wavy, everything was wavy, I had visions, and I could not take my mind off the fact that I really was in deep dodo. I thought God had renounced me. That was the worst feeling in my life, and I had previously done everything for that relationship. I had chanted mantras endlessly. I had put my whole being into the worship of the Heart. Despite this, I had found myself questioning everything like usual. Will it ever end? I think living by the Heart is the most potent form of religion there is. But I seemed to always reach trouble by being that way. My writing isn’t the best, but hopefully, this short message reaches you well.